This is a recent drawing that I finished. I used charcoal pencil and pastels on white cartridge paper. Size of the drawing is A1. #keamomlangeniart
Today I realised that I’m actually happy…
My kids are healthy and happy.
I’m in a great space with my hubby.
I feel good about myself.
What does it take to make you happy?
I love my kids don’t get me wrong but sometimes being a mother is hard. So many people judge you based on what their idea of motherhood is. Some days I wish I could go to the toilet by myself with no interruption. Sometimes I resent my kids for having tantrums. I don’t wake up immediately when they call out for me. I delay getting out of bed to make them breakfast. Sometimes their socks don’t match because I didn’t do the laundry on time. Their hair will look a mess because I’m tired of fighting to get a brush in.
Most days I impose myself on them, my way or the highway. Finding strength to make dinner and have no one eat can shatter your mom-esteem. I go to work and I never see them wake up. Some days they’re sleeping when I come home. My house is a mess because I haven’t cleaned in a while…it’s not a health hazard but not ideal either.
Sure I have my ideals that I want to live up to. All mothers want to give their kids the best. I struggle with knowing when to cook for them or fold laundry. My two year old will literally scream herself to death to get my attention. I swear the neighbours think I’m abusing those kids.
I love my kids don’t get me wrong but sometimes being a mother is hard. But then I think what if I didn’t have them in my life, I would be more put together but my life would be empty. There would be no-one running around the house looking for me. No-one who thought getting a hug from me is their biggest comfort ever. I would go to the toilet myself yeah but no-one would be in that much of a hurry to tell me about their days. There’d be no-one to dress up. No-one to love me with the same fiery love that my kids love me with. They don’t have a perfect mom, maybe they never will but I’m theirs to have forever.
Today I just found out that one of my dear uncles (a family friend we grew up knowing as an uncle) has passed on. Again I’m thinking about the unpredictability of life. Are you living your life or just going through the motions? Are you giving your dreams a chance? Are you spending enough time on the things that make you happy? Are you really happy? Are you living or surviving? Take a moment to think about what would happen if you were just yourself today and that was enough. Living in the fullness of this moment and seeing all the beauty around you. Really seeing and appreciating all that you have. Try to just live like you mean it today 🙂
Today as we mourn the passing of one of South Africa’s legendary icons, Tata Nelson Mandela, we salute him for leading an exemplary life for all South Africans. Revered all over the world as a humble man who played a part in bringing freedom to the black child and peace to the Rainbow Nation…we thank you Madiba for your contribution. Your legacy will live on in our hearts, our history pages and the foundation of our country.
Through you we’ve learned it’s possible for a black child to become President of a Nation. Through you we’ve learned it’s possible for man to forgive his oppressor. Through you we’ve learned the meaning of humility. You personified humanity at its best – a true symbol of UBUNTU.
Lala ngoxolo Tata. May your soul Rest in Peace. You’ve served our nation and the world well.
“I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorius vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responisbilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended.” – Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela (18 July 1918 – 05 December 2013)
I was reading an article on Entrepreneur.co.za written by Robin Sharma the other day – 62 Fast Tips to Get UnStuck – very insightful tips. The one that stood out for me was: “Know that potential unexpressed turns to pain.” A dream that you have but never pursue can bring so much pain and unrest to your life. Like an unscratched itch, it will continue to bother you… thinking whether or not you could have made it come true. It’s always best to pursue your dreams and even fail than to let them just be a potential that you never seized.
Often the reason for not living up to our potential is based on the fear of the unknown. We create so many scary scenarios in our minds, enough to cripple any required action. Take me for instance; I’ve been trying for the longest time to pursue my artistic dream. I know I’m talented but after I completed my Fine Arts Diploma, it’s become such a mission to complete even one drawing. My excuse is not having enough time with all the daily things I have to do. But the longing for that dream never goes away. Being this talented and not pursuing my dream is a waste and I know it. That knowledge gnaws at me and will continue to do so until I just get up and do what needs to be done to realise my dream.
Unexpressed potential truly is a pain…especially if you know what you’re capable of. Reach your potential and pursue more of your dreams. Challenge yourself to see how far your dreams will take you.