Just finished re-reading Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe by Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae. This is a great book for any mother who’s ever felt like they’re failing their children. Like I mentioned in my Ode to Motherhood post, there’s so much riding on mothers. So many voices telling you what you should do. Desperate helps you navigate finding your voice as a mother, defining how you want to be present in the lives of your children and aligning that to what God intended with motherhood. It teaches you how to build a support network, create beauty in your life and enjoy your children!
I was feeling so weary before Mother’s Day, I guess the toll of waking up early and braving the cold were getting to me. However, my weekend restored me. I got in a little pampering to awaken my girly side – nothing like pink toe nails to get a girl smiling. I went to see my little sisters; one of them hadn’t been feeling well. My kids tagged along and put in some aunt time.
Mother’s Day was mostly spent at church, just what my mommy soul was looking for. It started off with Mr Man making breakfast 🙂 for Mother’s Day…then we had load shedding, mid-preparation of lunch. The sermon at church spoke to my heart, reminding me what a precious calling being a mother is. So I’ve resolved to get back on the mommy bandwagon and find ways to bring beauty in with mini-breaks along this journey so that I don’t find myself on the dark side too many times. We still have tantrums and run-ins with the divas but I’m praying for patience and appreciation for my family.
My two-year old got to bond with her cousin, giggling and fighting after weeks of not seeing each other. My oldest spent the night at her grams with her aunties. We were all reunited Sunday night with a movie. I finished the day off with some ironing done for the week.
This week I feel more loving. Totally restored!
Wishing you a great week ahead 🙂
I love my kids don’t get me wrong but sometimes being a mother is hard. So many people judge you based on what their idea of motherhood is. Some days I wish I could go to the toilet by myself with no interruption. Sometimes I resent my kids for having tantrums. I don’t wake up immediately when they call out for me. I delay getting out of bed to make them breakfast. Sometimes their socks don’t match because I didn’t do the laundry on time. Their hair will look a mess because I’m tired of fighting to get a brush in.
Most days I impose myself on them, my way or the highway. Finding strength to make dinner and have no one eat can shatter your mom-esteem. I go to work and I never see them wake up. Some days they’re sleeping when I come home. My house is a mess because I haven’t cleaned in a while…it’s not a health hazard but not ideal either.
Sure I have my ideals that I want to live up to. All mothers want to give their kids the best. I struggle with knowing when to cook for them or fold laundry. My two year old will literally scream herself to death to get my attention. I swear the neighbours think I’m abusing those kids.
I love my kids don’t get me wrong but sometimes being a mother is hard. But then I think what if I didn’t have them in my life, I would be more put together but my life would be empty. There would be no-one running around the house looking for me. No-one who thought getting a hug from me is their biggest comfort ever. I would go to the toilet myself yeah but no-one would be in that much of a hurry to tell me about their days. There’d be no-one to dress up. No-one to love me with the same fiery love that my kids love me with. They don’t have a perfect mom, maybe they never will but I’m theirs to have forever.